No one ever sets out on their homeschooling journey thinking about it failing. In fact, figuring out how not to ruin your homeschool experience is more often the case than not.
If you’re not sure what to do or if what you’re thinking about will ruin it all, be sure to check this list for 50+ (tongue in cheek!) ways to ruin your homeschooling experience in no time flat!
When we first started homeschooling my oldest was in pre-K and my youngest (at the time!) was just 2.
Ruining our homeschool was definitely not what I wanted to do, but I will admit that I made plenty of mistakes that first….okay, make that each year we homeschooled.
It’s inevitable.
You’re going to mess things up and that’s okay.
The key to homeschooling is using those mess-ups as learning experiences and moving on.
There’s no need to dwell on what didn’t work, when there are so many things that do work!
But, here are 50+ things that might make you mess up again…
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How to Ruin Your Homeschool
1. Wing it Like a Procrastinating Penguin
Who needs a plan? Just dive into homeschooling activities like a penguin waddling into icy waters without checking for predators.
2. Become the Master of Chaos
Schedules are for mere mortals.
Embrace the unpredictability of life and let chaos reign supreme in your homeschooling kingdom.
3. Breaks Are for the Weak
Breaks are overrated. Your child doesn’t need moments of respite; they thrive on an unending stream of knowledge.
Breaks? What breaks?
4. Learning Styles Schmearning Styles
Ignore those learning-style quizzes; they’re just a fad.
Your child will surely appreciate your one-size-fits-all teaching approach.
5. Overwhelm, Anyone? Challenge Accepted
Who needs a moderate workload? Overwhelm your child with an avalanche of assignments.
It builds character, right?
6. Isolation: The Ultimate Learning Experience
Forget socialization. Your child’s best friend is their imagination.
Who needs friends when you can have an intense conversation with an invisible unicorn?
7. Comparison Olympics Gold Medalist
Make sure your child knows they’re in direct competition with Einstein’s ghost.
Nothing motivates like a healthy dose of unrealistic expectations.
8. Physics? Nah, Just Run Around
Physical activities are so overrated. Skip physics lessons and have your child run in circles.
It’s like a lesson in perpetual motion!
9. Unicorn Studies 101
Who needs algebra when you can teach unicorn anatomy? It’s an essential life skill, obviously.
10. Multitasking Maestro
Juggle quantum physics and Shakespearean sonnets simultaneously.
If you’re not multitasking, are you even homeschooling?
11. No Progress Assessments
Assessments are for the faint-hearted.
Trust the force, or better yet, trust that your child will absorb all knowledge through osmosis.
12. Rigid Routines: So Last Century
Routines are so 20th century. Embrace spontaneity. Who needs a plan when you can fly by the seat of your pants?
13. Subject Isolation Specialist
Keep subjects in their lanes. No mingling. Math stays with math, and history sits quietly in its corner.
14. Feedback? I’m a Mind Reader
Forget asking for feedback; you’re a mind-reading genius. Who needs to adapt when you can just magically know what your child needs?
15. Set Unrealistic Goals and Beyond
Shoot for the moon.
If your child doesn’t become an astronaut by Friday, you’ve clearly failed as a homeschool teacher.
16. Communication Breakdown
Who needs open communication? Your child will figure it out. They have telepathic abilities, right?
17. Stop Learning; You’re Already a Genius
Why bother with personal growth when you’re already a homeschooling savant? Your brilliance knows no bounds.
18. Solo Self-Care Retreats
Prioritize self-care by going on solo retreats to your closet.
You’ll emerge as a refreshed and enlightened hermit.
19. Ignoring Achievements 101
Accomplishments are overrated. Never acknowledge your child’s achievements.
They should know success is fleeting.
20. Miss Teachable Moments Like a Ninja
Ninja moves include missing teachable moments.
Ignore opportunities for real-world connections; it’s not like they’re essential.
21. Fixed Mindset Forever
Embrace the fixed mindset.
Challenges are for people who haven’t mastered the art of avoidance.
22. Engage in Social Awkwardness
Socialization is overrated. Who needs friends when you can practice the fine art of awkward silence?
23. Special Needs? What Special Needs?
Turn a blind eye to special needs.
It’s just a term invented by people who don’t appreciate your laissez-faire approach.
24. Bypassing Libraries Like a Pro
Libraries? Online resources? Pfft. Who needs them when you have encyclopedias from the ’80s?
25. Forget Your Sanity; They’re Learning
Sacrifice your sanity because, hey, your child is learning. Sanity is overrated, anyway.
26. Stress Is a Myth
Stressed is just desserts spelled backward. Ignore stress; it’s a myth perpetuated by the organized.
27. Foster Emotional Non-Intelligence
Emotional intelligence? It’s a trap. Embrace emotional non-intelligence. It’s the future.
28. Learning Speed Limits Are for Losers
Ignore different learning speeds. Your child will catch up or not. Who’s counting anyway?
29. Outdoor Spaces? Nah, Couch is Cozy
Outdoor learning? The couch is nature’s classroom. Why venture outside when you have Netflix?
30. Sleep Is for the Weak
Sleep is for the weak. Your child can learn more if they sacrifice a few hours of sleep. It’s basic math.
31. Homework? Nah, Housework
Homework? Turn it into housework.
Learn math by calculating laundry loads; it’s practical.
32. Educational Games Are So Last Century
Educational games? Too conventional. Teach algebra through interpretive dance; it’s the future.
After all, you don’t want to ruin your homeschool with something so mundane as fun. Ugh.
33. Field Trips to the Fridge
Field trips are overrated. Head to the fridge for an enlightening exploration of food labels.
34. Zap Science with a Remote
Science? Zap it with a TV remote. The Discovery Channel is your child’s new lab.
35. Creativity Free Zone
Forget creativity. It’s a fad. Stick to the tried and tested method of rote memorization.
36. Review Sessions Are for Quizzical Quokkas
Regular review sessions? Quokkas would find them quizzical.
Skip them; life is a pop quiz anyway.
37. Mindfulness? More Like Mindlessness
Mindfulness practices are overrated. Embrace mindlessness; it’s less stressful.
38. Mindset Shifts? Nah, Sofa Shifts
Mindset shifts? Too much effort. Shift sofas instead; it’s a workout.
39. Positive Reinforcement for Cats
Positive reinforcement is for cats who need treats. Your child? Nah, they should motivate themselves.
40. Current Events? Yesterday’s News
Current events? Yesterday’s news. Who needs to know what’s happening when you can binge-watch history documentaries?
41. STEM? Nah, Use a Compass
STEM subjects are for the weak. Teach navigation with an actual compass; it’s more authentic.
42. Overloaded Extracurriculars Are for Daredevils
Extracurriculars are for daredevils. Overload your child; life is an adventure.
43. Explore Cooking Without Recipes
Who needs recipes? Explore the culinary world without them; your child will become a master chef of surprises.
44. Be a Math Wizard Without Numbers
Become a math wizard without using actual numbers. Counting is so mainstream; let your child invent their own numerical system.
45. Practical Skills? Watch YouTube Instead
Ignore teaching practical skills; YouTube tutorials can handle that. The internet is the true school of life.
46. Replace Homework with Hide-and-Seek
Turn homework into hide-and-seek sessions. Your child can learn geometry by finding the perfect hiding spot.
47. Neglect Cultural Awareness: Become a Cultural Abyss
Who needs cultural awareness? Dive into the abyss of ignorance; it’s an endless pit of bliss.
48. Mind Your Manners: Don’t Laugh Too Loud
Manners? Laughing loudly is the best way to express joy. Keep it up; who cares about decorum?
49. Explore Advanced Topics: Like Alien Diplomacy
Forget age-appropriate topics. Dive into alien diplomacy; your child might just make the first contact.
50. Throw Organizational Skills Out the Window
Organization is for overachievers. Embrace the chaos; it’s the spice of life.
51. Unicorn Language: The Future of Linguistics
Language classes? Teach your child the ancient and mystical language of unicorns. It’s a linguistic breakthrough.
52. The Art of Not Reading: A Masterclass
Reading is overrated. Teach your child the art of not reading; it’s the ultimate rebellion against literary norms.
53. Misplace Important Documents: A Memory Exercise
Forgetful is the new mindful. Misplace important documents for a memory exercise that challenges the very essence of organizational norms.
54. DIY Time Travel: Historical Misadventures
History is just a series of mishaps waiting to be reimagined.
Explore historical misadventures with DIY time travel; who needs accuracy anyway?
55. Deny Scientific Principles: Embrace the Mystery
Scientific principles are just theories. Embrace the mystery by denying everything your child learned in science class.
Quick Ways to Ruin Your Homeschool
If you really want to ruin your homeschool, be sure to do all of the things above! It will be a train wreck in no time!
No, in truth, it takes a lot to ruin your homeschool experience. The biggest things to keep in mind are that you need sleep, hydration, and food.
When you’re not tired, dehydrated, or hangry, your homeschool will run a lot more smoothly.
The same applies to your children. Let them sleep and then feed and water them.
You’re going to do great!