“Where Do We Even Start?” — The Parent’s Role in College Applications
The college application process is vastly different from what it was thirty years ago. Find out how to navigate it as a parent and what specific action steps to take now!
The College Application Process for Parents
If you went to college, you may remember what the college application process was like: paper applications, typed essays, and college visits.
You may have had assistance from your parent or guidance counselor, or you may have done it alone.
Perhaps you were happy with your decision, or maybe you have regrets about your school choice, major, or student debt.
Now that your child is beginning the college application process, you wonder how you can help guide them through the maze of application to-dos to arrive at the perfect school.
We’ve got you covered! We will tell you all you need to know about navigating the college admissions process as a parent.
How the College Admissions Process Has Changed
First of all, take a deep breath.
While many aspects of the college application process have changed in the last few decades, the process is actually easier than it was in your day.
You read that right; the process is streamlined!
In your day, if you wanted to apply to six schools, that meant six separate applications.
The applications were all on paper, which means you had to print or type your information over and over again.
Now, most colleges accept the Common App, and some others use the Coalition Application.
These are application portals where you enter your biographical information, grades, activities, and personal essay in one place and then select the schools to which you would like to send that information.
That means you can apply to six schools (or even 12) with a single application.
When to Start Preparing
The application season begins in August of a student’s senior year, but you and your student should have as much in place as possible before the start of senior year.
The spring of junior year and the summer before senior year are the times to make traction on the application checklist:
Build a College List
Decide which schools your student would like to apply to. Consider size, location, cost, and choice of major.
College is a decision your student should make, but you should offer your help and guidance.
Work on Improving Standardized Test Scores
While some schools are test-optional, your student should study to improve their test scores and aim to be in the target range for their school choices.
Test scores translate not just into admission but also into scholarship dollars. It is worth the time to study for these!
Write the Personal Essay
Most colleges require a personal essay of around 500 words as part of the application. This essay can respond to any number of prompts, but it should be about the student.
Senior year is busy. Save yourself the crunchtime battle and have your student write their essay over the summer.
Ask for Teacher Recommendations
High school teachers and coaches are often bombarded with requests for recommendations from a long list of students.
These recommendations take time to prepare, and you cannot expect a teacher to write your recommendation a few weeks before it is due.
The time to ask for a teacher recommendation is the spring of junior year, or if you miss that window, you can beg for one at the very beginning of senior year.
The Parent Role in Applying to College
How do you navigate the college application process as a parent?
First of all, you don’t take over. The temptation to do that is real. Choosing a college is a huge decision, and you want your child to make the best decision possible.
But if you do all the work, then your student has no input (and possibly no buy-in) on college.
They may be unhappy and flounder in the college of your choice (or even decide not to attend).
On the other hand, if you leave the process entirely to your student, they may miss important deadlines or make a poor financial decision that could impact them (or you, if you are helping to foot the bill) for decades to come.
You need to find a middle path. Repeat this phrase to yourself, “I am a coach.”
What does a coach do?
Educate Your Student
Help your student find websites with college data (such as College Navigator) or books with college information and reviews (such as Fiske’s Guide to Colleges).
If possible, take them on campus tours to get the feel of each school on their list.
Help Them Plan
Sit down with them over the summer and look at the timeline for the college application process.
Talk about upcoming dates and deadlines for applications, test scores, and the financial aid application (like a FAFSA or CSS Profile).
If needed, help your student chunk the process into minideadlines.
You are not the project manager (your child is not your employee); you are the coach, helping your child manage this process for themselves.
Give Advice When Asked
Your child may ask for your input, so you should be ready to advise them.
Do you think they would do well at a big school or a small one? Religious or secular? Public or private?
What are your child’s strengths and interests? Knowing what they like and what they are good at can help them select a school that has the majors they are interested in.
You should definitely chime in on the financial aspect of each college, particularly if you are paying.
(Pro tip: Don’t look at the sticker price of tuition; instead, fill out the net price calculator on each college’s website to find out the ballpark of what you will pay.)
Celebrate with Them
Cheer on every completed milestone and every “yes” on admission!
This Month: Take the First 4 Steps
Where do you begin? Here are the first four steps of the college process.
Create a Common App Account
Your student can create an account in minutes. The site also has articles and resources for your child to explore.
Start to Build the College List
Get your student this book (and get a copy for yourself): Find Your College Fit: How To Choose, Apply To, and Afford the Right College For You by Duane Cottrell.
Create a balanced list of state schools, private schools, schools that your student will easily get into, and schools that are long shots.
Consider this just a start; it’s a working list you can modify as needed.
Most students apply to six to twelve colleges. You want options!
If Needed, Sign Up for a Standardized Test
Once you have your list of schools, you can see the range of test scores they typically accept.
If your student’s test score is near the bottom of the range (or not even in range), sign up to retake a standardized test (first check which tests the college accepts: SAT, ACT, or CLT).
Sign your teen up for a test prep class to help them sharpen their skills.
Keep Track of Extra-Curriculars
Your student’s list of high school involvement is an important piece of the application.
Help them brainstorm a list of the clubs, teams, jobs, and volunteer projects they participated in during high school.
What about unofficial extra-curriculars like writing short stories, gardening, building Lego structures, open water swimming, or crocheting?
Don’t forget family duties at home. Do they have significant responsibilities at home, such as meal prep, watching younger siblings, or taking care of grandma?
Helping your child think through this list is not just a jump on the activities section of the application; it helps them reflect on who they are to generate possible personal essay topics.
How to Help with the College Application Process
The college application process does not have to be a headache.
Although there are many components, this process can actually bring you and your child closer together.
Just remember to work the plan (get those first four steps done) and stay tuned for future articles in this series.
